Batteling the Bulge!

So, here I am a few months into the journey. I saw a number on the scale that disgusted me and started eating healthy again. The trouble is, I wasn't doing it with enough structure. So I lost 5 lbs and then gained two...

So, after my friend DTC was in town with her average body telling me how she was on Weight Watchers and how I HAD to do it...ARG! I had heard that enough times, so ... I had to admit I should try it. Why hadn't I before? I had this feeling of failure to do Weight Watchers. I felt like I should be able to do it on my own. I usually do well at the things I set my mind to. But, as DTC painfully pointed out, the things I do well at come relatively easily to me...this does not. It killed me to admit it, but it is hard for me and I comfort myself and celebrate with food. It is not healthy for me and I am going to die younger than I should if I don't get my ass in gear. I don't exercise enough and don't make the best choices when we eat out. I am not a closet over eater, but it does not mean I don't have a problem. My Mother In Law has commented, "I see everything you eat, I don't know why you are so over weight." Ouch and thanks? So, genes, inactivity and choices are the answer to that question.

I am now doing Weight Watchers. I am excited about it actually. I said I was considering it out loud to a friend and Lis said she would do it with me. So, we signed up on line (and she tutored me and everything to make it easier for me...and not to give me any excuses...thanks, Lis), we measured each other and send our points lists to each other each night.

Last week I had a great exercise week. I exercised every day-including water aerobics, walking, kayaking and paddle boating! It was my first full week. This week... I have exercised twice, but will get in a third time before the week is over. I know there will be good weeks and bad weeks-I hope more good than bad.

The good news is W is doing it with me and we are cooking up a storm of WW recipes. I loved the Chicken Marsala so much, I would order that exact recipe at a restaurant. We also made, cheesy chicken enchiladas, Greek Chicken, egg salad, dry rubbed pork tenderloin, potato salad, and have more plans for new recipes next week.

The Chicken Marsala was the best followed by the Greek Chicken and egg salad. I would use less oregano in the Greek chicken next time, I guess that is not one of my favorite spices, but live and learn!

The dry rubbed pork tenderloin...was good tasting, but too much for my sensitive stomach to handle...I probably lost another pound after that meal though...

The potato salad was more of a German potato salad, I liked it, but will edit the recipe next time.

We learned how to use REAL garlic...sad we have never cooked with it before, nor scallions...I KNOW RIGHT? A whole new world.

Overall, I have been doing this two weeks and am down 3 lbs. It will be slow I know, but I hope to never see the numbers on the scale again once I pass them. I also have realized that a structured program is best for me--but one with flexibility.

The online system is great. You can go into any recipe, change it and it will tell you how many points it is! You can add your own recipe to find out how many points that is as well...seriously, it is magic! Also, everyone gets 35 "splurge" points a week. So you can have what you want one day a week, or have a few extra points each day. Flexibility is the key to my success. I hope.

I know it will be a hard road, but I have been overweight for 13 years now and it is beyond time to take it seriously. Lis gave me a food scale, DTC promises me an in purse point counter...W is cooking recipes with me and eating healthy. What more could I ask for?

Wish me luck. I have some trips coming up and know they will be challenging, but none more that the Warner Family Camp out! All my lifetime favorite recipes...

I will need strength. Time will tell if I have it. I guess my epiphany is that my feelings of failure by not being able to do it by myself aren't doing anything for me. By NOT trying WW, I will never know if it is what will work for me. It isn't a failure to ask for help, I am a trained therapist for God's sake-you would think I would be open to anything...

The truth is it is complicated. I feel better about myself now then I did when I was skinny and not eating. I am happy in my life, but not with my weight and health. So, join me on my journey and wish me luck.

I am worried about failing at Weight Watchers...then I will have really failed! But, I am working on affirming the positive and giving myself a break. I have failed at getting healthy by myself, but it doesn't make me a failure. I am a true failure if I don't try. I know that. I am trying. Bring it!