Don't Feed Your Cell Phone to the Ducks

Cell phones just freak me out. I mean, I have one. What if I didn't? Well, I am guessing no one would ever talk to me--and you can't text on land lines, bummer. I work with teens and they may not have money for the bus, but they have a cell phone to call me and tell me they can't come to their appointment because they don't have money for the bus. Cell phones are a sign of status to some, a necessity to others and plain convenience for the rest of us. Take my husband for example. He would go to the store to get three things and come home with five. However, one of the three he went for, he would forget. Now, he just calls me and says, "what else was I going to get?" There. Convenience.

OK, all that just to mention that Wayne is feeling cut off today. Why? Thanks for asking! Did he forget his cell phone? Well...we went on a family outing to MSU on Sunday. We thought it was a good day to go to the Red Cedar River to feed the ducks. Haiden loves it. So, Wayne went to sit on the edge to hold Haiden so she wouldn't fall in, plop. Yep. His cell phone fell out of his sweatshirt pocket and into the river. We both looked at it-like dear in headlights. Wayne blurted an expletive and I just froze. There is was...Haiden's picture was lit and displayed on the bottom of the Red Cedar River. "Are you going to get it?" I asked. He took his sandals off and hopped in to retrieve it. It no longer glowed. It was kaput! We tried drying it out, trading batteries, but nothing. It was gone. Now, Wayne is awaiting a refurbished phone via mail. Don't worry, not all was lost. The memory card allowed Wayne to get all of the pictures and video clips off. Even the picture of me, miserable in labor, all bloated with a washcloth on my head. Hmmmmm....I wouldn't have minded if THAT had been lost.

Lesson: Don't wear a sweatshirt on 80 degree days (what was he doing wearing a sweatshirt on Sunday anyway?), and if you are silly enough to do so, don't put anything of value in the pockets and lean over water. I hope this fabulous piece of advice helps you out someday. Seriously, the first company to make a water resistant cell phone will be genius--and loaded. Come on, we all know someone who's phone fell in the toilet, or the Red Cedar River-same difference.

Overwhelmed and Inspired

Do you ever get overwhelmed hearing other people's problems? Just sitting with one's own life's problems can be exhausting. I have several very tough cases right now. I adore the very often labeled "juvenile delinquents," "disrespectful lazy teens," and my least favorite "directionless" human beings I work with. They hear those other things all the time. I have a different perspective.

I understand that I get to see their best selves. One on one, in a room with them with no outside pressures and complete confidentiality (except child abuse and/or harm to self or others, which I CLEARLY cover I can't keep private). Do you know what I see? I see overlooked, under appreciated survivors. The teens I work with may act out, use drugs, do illegal things and yes, sometimes present with a bad attitude. These same teens were once kids who have experienced some things you couldn't imagine. If you heard their childhood stories you would throw money at their "cause" and have sympathy and empathy unending.

In two and a half years, I haven't met a teen who hasn't experienced at least ONE major trauma. Yet, they are funny, they are smart, they are wise beyond their years at times. They are hip, they are cool, they are real. I am glad they are alive and feel privileged to be let into a world that many are not. If you will, take a moment to remember what it was like to be a teenager. Remember what it was like when your heart was broken, hormones raging, or you were covering for your family because they weren't perfect? Remember when you drank, or you lied, or you felt insecure? Remember that these teens are real and deserve to be honored for their experiences.

I am not suggesting they not be held accountable for the choices they make. Trust me, they are. From their teachers to their probation officers, from their parents to their community, they are. What they are NOT getting is the recognition that they have potential and that they have SO MANY strengths. Although right now I am feeling overwhelmed by the pieces of them I carry with me, I feel even more empowered to put out in the universe how lucky I am to see their best selves. I hope you will take a moment and honor them with me. Thank you for listening and thanks to them for teaching me so much I would not have known without their candor and bravery to share. How lucky I am. How lucky I am.

Sometimes, You Get What You Pay For

I was with my two girls at water aerobics at the YMCA in Haslett on Wednesday. We were working out, catching up and chat, chat, chatting. I was watching the people around...the children that seem to be there doing family swim with no adult with them, the manic splasher that was lane swimming RIGHT behind me (nice view underwater I am sure. I had no view since the splashed water blinded me.), the early 20's lifeguard that looked so passive and bored, the others in class-buzzing with chatter in their little hives. Just a typical day at the Y.

Then, like a sleeping dog snaps to when he hears a squirrel, this young, previously passive, life guard has what I believe was the most exciting two minutes of his week. The instructor overheard a lady in class question if that was lightening outside. The instructor saw it and directed the lifeguard to check it out. He charged over to the window and verified lightening and jumped into action. He blew his whistle like a ref with a game determining call and proceeded to VERY ASSERTIVELY state, "Everyone out of the pool! It is not safe. EVERYONE OUT OF THE POOL." He moved faster and more assertively than his demeanor had suggested possible. We all proceeded to move out of the pool. Our instructor told us we had to get out because, "there are pipes under the pool that are not grounded and if lightening strikes we will all turn to goo." That is right folks, goo. Hmmm...I thought. "why don't they ground it?" I asked the instructor. "I don't know, but if you are at the Mac, you can stay in the pool. It is grounded." she answered.

OK, so I paused to ask myself a few questions (out of the pool of course). 1. What if no one had seen the lightening? 2. What if there were no windows at the pool? 3. Are they aware that in Michigan the weather changes on a dime...? 4. Do you get what you pay for? 5. Should safety be more accessible for those who pay more? In the end, I am not goo...and that life guard had 2 minutes of adrenaline filled action. I was actually impressed. At lease he has it in him to jump out of his stoned-like state if I were to nearly drown. I wonder if he does rescue people or if you have to pay more for that? :)

Oh, the instructor told us we are not supposed to shower either. I took my chances...she did too as well as everyone else in class. Should that be posted somewhere? I wonder if the Mac has signs? Signed, the gooless Jaim

Do I Have Skeeter Syndrome?

I think I can clearly speak for every resident and visitor to Michigan when I say, "I am sick of mosquitoes!" Every time the dogs come in, those little blood suckers hitch a ride. When I am outside, I get bit AT LEAST twenty times more than the person next to me. I love being outside in the summer...come on we are forced to spend so much time inside during the winter! The bites hurt and look a little ugly too. I am really beginning to HATE the little buggers.

Upon getting fed up by all my bites, I thought..."everything has a purpose, right?" WRONG-O. Mosquitoes do nothing but carry diseases and viruses from person to person. Mosquitoes infect 700 million people annually. Not little things like a cold, but MALARIA, WEST NILE VIRUS and YELLOW FEVER...just things that kill people especially children and the elderly....Not rooting for the mosquitoes yet.

Why do I get bit so much? "Don't wear perfume or nice smelling hair products." I am told over and over again. Then I find out the following: "Mosquitoes use carbon dioxide (CO2) and 1-octen-3-ol1 from human and animal breath and sweat as odor cues." ODOR cues? SO, maybe it is not my fancy smelling products, but perhaps I am one stinky girl! Twenty times MORE stinky than others...I just think I have sweet meat. I must be yummy. (Denial kicking in?)

Then the misogyny comes in. Only female mosquitoes suck blood AND they DO NOT need it to live. Females as literal bloodsuckers in this depiction.

Then I find out there are lucky people among us. Some adults (not me!) can become desensitized to mosquitoes and have little or no reaction to their bites (lucky few). Hmmm, while others can become hyper-sensitive with bites causing blistering, bruising, and large inflammatory reactions, a response known as Skeeter Syndrome. Do I have Skeeter Syndrome?! I must admit I would love to tell people I have it. I sounds kinda fun--if it weren't for the symptoms.

I still don't want to HATE. Hating is so ugly. Perhaps mosquitoes provide needed sustenance for some fantastic creatures. Yes, that must be it. There. There in lies their purpose. NOPE WRONG AGAIN. Although dragonflies (I do love dragonflies), bats (bats rock) and Purple Martins (I've been known to be a bird watcher) eat mosquito's, they make up less than 1% of their diet. Bottom line. I HATE MOSQUITOES.

Top 10 Things I Have Learned While Trying Not To Be a Mosquito Hater!

(AKA Top 10 Reasons I HATE Mosquitoes)

10. Mosquito bites hurt-and then itch and itch, a long lasting "i was here."

9. There is no beauty added by red swollen blotches. (I look like some sorta patient...)

8. Mosquitoes don't do anything for the environment (and everyone is going green).

7. Mosquitoes don't even provide enough food for dragonflies or bats to even snack on!

6. DEET (our best weapon against THEM besides NETS) can have negative effects on the Central Nervous System.

5. Mosquitoes actually kill people. (little murders, that is what they are.)

4. We are driven to wear long sleeves and layers in the SUMMER. (uh, humidity isn't enough?)

3. Females get a bad rap again. (side note: 99% of scientists are men, I am just saying.)

2. I am much stinkier than I previously thought (thanks for the heads up, friends).

and the number one reason I HATE mosquitoes?

1. Skeeter Syndrome. I may not have it, but it still exists.

DOWN WITH SKEETERS!

Say It Isn't So?

So, as I am driving to work today, I hear that Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman broke up. Why should this matter to me? I am a hopeless romantic, yes, I am a realist too. I always come to the defense of celebrities because I have empathy for how their lives are spun. But, back to Jimmy and Sarah. I just loved the thought of them together. They are both so funny and make me laugh-I could only imagine a life of laughter, wit, etc. Of course they are celebrities so why should I even be pondering it? I realize I don't know a thing about their real lives but, here is what I am pondering...Was Sarah Silverman really .... Matt Damon? OR Was Jimmy Kimmel really ... Ben Afflec?! We just will never know (utube it if you don't know what I am referring to :) if those skits had more truth than fiction. In the end, I guess it is just hard to picture Jimmy Kimmel mad. Try it. Hard isn't it?

Post Vacation Depression

Post Vacation Depression...I think this should be an official code in the DSM. They have practically everything else in there, so why not this? I want to be diagnosed today with post-vacation depression. I just got back from Boston and it was a fabulous eleven year anniversary trip.

Awwwwe, showing some love on our Anniversary.

Haiden stayed with my Mom, she is a saint for keeping Haiden for us, so we could get away together. Don't worry, Mom got some gifts brought back for her.

Wayne and I checked out Boston for three and a half days. We had a blast! We had some fine dining and checked out some Bostonian famous digs, like Cheers. We had a sunset cruise on Boston Harbor.

The Boston Harbour at Sunset.

We took a tour around Boston, including a trip to Paul Revere's house, visited the oldest commissioned war ship in the world, the USS Constitution (Old Iron Side) and saw some other historical places. We wandered around little Italy...tasting the best cannoli I have ever had at Mike's Pastry, a Boston landmark.

Chocolate Chip Cannoli from Mike's Pastry.

We went to see the Blue Man Group and toured Harvard and MIT (I feel smarter for just having been there). I loved Boston. It is where the Revolutionary War began, thus leading to our nation's independence. You feel the spunk in the people of Boston's spirits. They LOVE their sports teams and have a zest for life. I also can't get enough of that accent. "Paak the caa in Haavad Yaard."

Wayne and I on the trolley for our city tour.

I look forward to my next trip to Boston, it has passed Philadelphia on my list of favorite cities, but NYC still tops my list. Boston is a close second because of the family feel. Their are parks everywhere and it is very family friendly, while still being a city with so much action and history to offer!

Wayne and I visually expressing our joy of being on vacation.

The best part about returning was seeing our little girl. But going back to work tomorrow and being away from my family AND vacation...Post Vacation Depression here I come. At least I have the memories...

Wayne and I thinking about ending vacation :).

The picture for the DSM for the craziness that can be caused by Post Vacation Depression.

Spittin' Some Knowledge

I work with teenagers, and sometimes when they speak...I am left wondering what they said. I ask, they laugh and then they fill me in. Here are some things I've learned.

He ganked my fitted. = He stole my fitted baseball hat.

She's soft and scary. = She won't do anything, she is afraid (scared) of me.

I was ear hustlin'. = I was eavesdropping. (this one is my favorite!)

I'm no tweak! = I am not addicted.

From the Lean Man. = From the guy that illegally sells prescription liquid codeine.

Lean, szyrup, purple = Liquid Codeine or Promethazine (presciption liquid cough syrup with codeine)

I smashed. = I ate so much.

She's bad = She is very attractive.

Snitch = tattle tale

Snitches get stitches = People who tell will get beat up.

She hoed my life. = She broke up with me.
She hoed my life. = She cheated on me.
She hoed my life. = She talked behind my back.
She hoed my life. = She did something bad to me.

He's fake = He pretends to be tough or he pretends to be a gang member

Deuces = Peace out = Good bye

She's a bop. = She gets around sexually.

He's my husband or She's my wifey = He's my boyfriend or she's my girlfriend.

Forces = Air Force One's (Nike tennis shoes)

I am down with the clown = I am a fan of Insane Clown Posse'

Juggalo = Insane Clown Posse' Male fan

Juggalet = Insance Clown Posse' Female fan

Emo = Peson who is often depressed, sometimes cuts themself and dresses in black with dark hair slicked over one eye.

Everyone has dirt. = Everyone has illegal things they do.

Stick = marijuana also means cigar paper wraped marijuana

He did me a solid. = He did me a favor.

I'm a hot boy = The police watch me (similarly, that house is hot, that neighborhood is hot = an easy place to get caught or a place the police watch)

'Nuff said, deuces! = I think I have said enough, goodbye!

The Middles

Apparently, there are two types of people in this country. The haves, and the have-nots. Those few of us who are still in the middle could go either way. They say we are all three paychecks from the edge. On the other hand, the middles get to sample the have's lives now and then.

My 85 minutes as a have: I go to the spa and experience an elemental facial. I don't know what I am doing when I get to the spa, but luckily, there are kind people who know it is my first time and they guide me. I get my robes on and have my feet soaked in some fabulously smelling water while I wait, sipping on water nibbling a grape, reading a magazine. That was the beginning of my have experience. There I am. I listen to the mood music, smell the aroma therapy candles and enjoy the dim lighting and people watching. There is a petite woman in high end work out gear, I am guessing just arriving from her personal trainer, with this look on her face. I think about the look and realize it is fulfillment. I imagine she had the nanny looking after the children as she went to see her personal trainer and then to the spa, where I "over hear" her saying she will be having some 4 hour treatment. Also, in the waiting area is a young twenty something and her groom to be getting pampered. They are so giddy and clearly enthused by the other's company. A treat. Not a regular occasion like Ms. High End, but a treat. Where did I fit in? I got the gift cards for Christmas and finally decided to use them. I was a middle getting a taste of the have's life. What was I waiting for? It was FABULOUS!! 85 minutes of pure self indulgence. Relaxation, a facial, beautiful relaxing music, massage...ahhhh. AH HA! I realized Ms. High End had that look on her face because she knew what she was in for. This was no treat, this was a part of life, you know like I go to the store, she goes to the spa. Hmmmmmm.

I could be bitter, but why? I wasn't bitter, but for that moment, I considered what it might be like to be a have. What about the have-nots? Would they ever get a taste of the have's life, or was the tasting just for the middles? Was that look on Ms. High End's face always there, or did she marry for money and earn every cent? Well, I don't know. I do know that the middles should pamper themselves. We should taste the life of the haves. We should also be aware of the have-nots. It is a gift to be afforded the opportunity to sample the have life and not forget the have-nots that many of us serve.

With that said, for 85 minutes I didn't think about ANY of you people. None of you. Not my friends, not my family. Nope, so sorry. No starving children, no addicts, no depressed souls. I thought about me! I was self indulgent. This CLEARLY just wouldn't have been the Jaim without me. ME! ME! ME! It was liberating in a way. I plan to celebrate me again soon. Think about doing the same. :)

Sanity achieved!

Canoeing together shows one's true colors.

I believe that canoeing together tells a story. Who leads, who follows. Teamwork, is it there or not? The couple that successfully canoe's together will stay together, it is that simple. Not only that, but you see people's true colors when in a canoe, dating colors, friendship colors, care taking colors, power and control colors...

Let me explain. This past weekend Wayne and I took three of our dearest and closest friends canoeing. They have never been to Michigan and wanted to do something that was simply Michigan. Listening to the "Pure Michigan" commercials that Tim Allen lends his voice to, I thought about the "free flowing waters of Michigan." So, we went canoeing.

The adventure began when we were crammed into a van that should have fit 10 people. I had made a reservation for 4pm for the five of us and there were 7 other people who joined in the day of at the park (doing the math yet?). There were 13 of us in a van that fit 10, including the driver who looked like he might JUST have turned 16. So, our buddy Nick was on the end of a seat with me, John and Michelle, dangling off the end with just one half of one cheek on the seat. We were all sun screened and bug sprayed up, so the tight squeeze and closeness was quite stinky. Nick, having survived cancer twice and a tour in Afghanistan, didn't complain, he just used all of his core muscles and his quads to balance. Wayne was in the far back seat with three strangers, none of them of the petite variety. They had taken the entire seat up, so Wayne was sardined in with his hinney on the wheel well. "How are you doing back there, Wayne?" I asked as we bounced around. "good" he grumbled under his breath as we hit a bump slamming him into the wheel well. I must admit I admired Wayne's technique. Wayne had a good technique. He starred out the window the whole time. I guess he thought if he didn't look at the others, he wouldn't have to be reminded that their bodies were stuck together with sweat.

"How much longer to the drop off point?" I asked, thinking of my guests and husband. "About nine minutes." I was told. Well, we could do ANYTHING for nine quick, short minutes right? It was just upon about the time that thought ran through my head that we got behind a farm vehicle going about 10 mph. "that just doubled our trip time, eh?" said Nick with a snicker. Sure, I thought, "hang tight ya'll." Murphy, being the law that it is, didn't fulfill its' duty at that time. Remember, our driver, being about 16? He made the brilliant decision to PASS the farm vehicle. I thought we were going to be the next morning's headline. "13 killed in van (that fit 10) pulling trailer of 8 canoes. The 16 year old driver decided that he would PASS a farm vehicle crossing a solid yellow line." Well, just as this crossed my mind, I heard Nick say, "well, maybe it won't double our travel time." he laughed and looked at my pale face and said, "my gut says we will make it, Jaim." So, I closed my eyes and before I knew it, we were around the vehicle and on the road again. Ok, probably only 8 minutes left now! YE HAW! I was giddy, knowing that our trip down the river was minutes away and then...Murphy visited again... CRASH! BAM! SCRAPPPPPEEEEE! A canoe fell off the trailer and was being dragged on the asphalt. "I think our travel time just got doubled." Laughed Nick, still dangling off the end of our seat-muscles tight. We all kind of laughed, you know in that, I am sure we will make it there- but we all stink and are, uh, too close for comfort kind of laughing way.

Alas, the driver jumped out of the van, loaded the canoe back on, jumped back into the van and took off. I was at this time cautiously optimistic that we would be there relatively soon (note the change in my tone? what you hear is optimism turned to reality). "That is the first one that has fallen all season." the Driver quietly said as he drove on.

I was thinking about this potentially damaged canoe. "I don't want that canoe. You know, the one that fell" I blurted. I couldn't contain myself. I wanted to call dibs. That is right, NON-dibs dibs. I didn't want to "test" the fallen canoe. No one said anything in response, so I felt victorious! I called it- or non-called it and no one challenged. Phew. Ok, so we got there, I quickly claimed two non-dragged canoes and we were the first in the water. Wayne and I were in the heavy, green fiberglass canoe. It was the widest, so Michelle took a cushion and sat in the middle with our cooler and our snacks. John and Nick took the lighter, faster, easier to maneuver aluminum canoe and we were off. Upon paddling about 10 times, I said, "perhaps we should give some of the extra weight to Nick and John." So, we asked the boys to paddle up close so we could hand off the cooler. We did it with no problems and we were off again. It was seamless, like a precise military maneuver, after all the boys were all military or former military. It was a beautiful sunny day and just the perfect temperature-a great way to show off what Michigan had to offer. We heard one of the other couples in our comfy van ride arguing from the start. So, we pulled ahead as not to hear the bickering. It was too nice of a day for Debbie and Don Downer to steal the show...

Soon, two canoes caught up with us. One carrying the not so petite, cigarette smoking, cursing, bickering couple and the other canoe carrying three young college aged canoers. "are you with them?" I asked the trio. "uh, yep." the male in the back of the canoe answered, all three of them were smiling in that -uh huh, we will claim them- way. We were approaching a narrow opening in the river. A tree had fallen on both sides leaving just enough space to maneuver through. Nick and John were close behind the bickering couple. The bickering couple, well they were bickering still as their canoe turned sideways not leaving enough clearance for them to make it through the opening. The male bickerer firmly shouted "duck" and she, the female bickerer, firmly shouted."AHHHHHH SH#!" and did not duck. Instead she grabbed onto the branch that was hanging down which jolted the canoe to a halt catapulting the male bickerer into the water. KA-SPLOOSH! It was quite hilarious and a little scary, I worried for the female bickerer a bit. It appeared that she was pinned under the branch laying on her back holding tight. He was holding the side of the canoe. The couple was still bickering. He was saying, "let go!" She was shouting, "NO WAY!" This continued. Nick and John quickly made it through and Wayne and I back paddled, slowed down and made it through as well. Michelle, adorning the bright orange life jacket, said, "I am not a good swimmer." Wayne was reassuring her, "nothing is going to happen to you. You have a life vest on and I won't let anything happen to you, just duck." Wayne's reassurance helped me as well. We made it! Teamwork. I look behind me to see the couple still engaged in the bickering. "give up, you are going in." said the male bickerer. "If I get out I won't be able to get back in!" Shouted the female bickerer. I thought I would lend what seemed to be some helpful, and common sense advice. "just get out, get to the bank and then get back in. It will be easier to get back in from shore." They didn't answer, but did pause their bickering for a moment to contemplate the thought, and we headed forward.

Here's where the true colors shined through. Nick and John turned Hawaii Five-O on us and retrieved the bickerers paddles and headed back to help them out. "you got this??" Wayne asked. Nick responded, "We are just going to hang here until they are out of panic mode and then get them their paddles back. We have it handled." "you OK Babe?" John asks Michelle. "yep, I'm good." So, there we were. All of us exposed. Nick used all of his military--and boyscout training to assess the situation, realize the couple was not in grave danger and make the safe decision to lend rescue efforts while not getting taken down with the panicking bickerers. John's colors shined through as he checked on his wife since neither of them were good swimmers. John and Nick showed their service to others with their help in retrieving the oars and bringing them back to the bickerers. Wayne showed his care taking to me and Michelle by slowly taking us through the challenge reassuring us that he wouldn't let anything happen to us. He also offered to help the couple, but agreed with John and Nick that it be better for them to do it, since he had Michelle, the non swimming first time canoer in the canoe. I showed that I would offer some solid advice to the bickerers even knowing they could at any moment curse me out-a chance worth taking.

If you are thinking what I was thinking, I am sure you are thinking about the other three that claimed to be with the bickerers. Well, they were snickering slowing down and just watching it all unfold. I am guessing this is not the first time they have seen the couple in a situation that is just, well, priceless. The bickerers? What did I learn about them? Well, once back in the canoe and on the river, they finally agreed. "sh#! we just lost our SMOKES!" said the male bickerer. "OH, NO, honey, you are right! Shi#!!!" Alas, their priorities were in sync.

So, the moral of this story is if you want to get to know someones true colors, canoe with them!

All in all it was a great trip, created some good memories and showed me the true colors of my friends. I am sure my humor was appreciated as well. After all, It just wouldn't have been the Jaim without me. :)

Go Green or Go Home!

What I am contemplating today...

When you follow your husband's military career for 11 years, your resume looks schizophrenic.
A Master's Degree in Counseling: The degree you pay the most for the least return. That is right folks...it doesn't pay much money working for nonprofits.

So, what to do?

A. Find a nice stable job that pays more, Or
B. Do what I feel passionately about

For 11 years I have chosen B. Now, I have a child, I am staying put in one state, there are simply more things to consider. Is there a way to get A and B? I, being the ever optimist, say "Yes!" I could work at MSU with students using all of my rapport building, assessment, people and detail oriented skills to kick some major tail. The problem: the schizophrenic resume.

Many feel to work at MSU, you must first work at MSU. Hmmm, not much attrition there. Having done career counseling in one of my many traveling careers, I am telling myself what I would tell others. Network. Look for a mentor. Navigate through the system. Alas, I am following my own advice. I have begun the trek and have found the people I have met with to be simply fabulous. I am networking, taking notes, setting up meetings. I am marketing myself. What will the pay off be?

Today, I am following the law of attraction. I am putting out in the universe that I will work at MSU and be an asset to the University I bleed green for as well as make a positive impact on the students. As a first generation woman that completed college in my family and the first person to receive a Master's Degree, I know anything can be done. I value education. I understand the need to have passionate and capable people work toward promoting life altering decisions at a prime point in student's brain-and life development. I just want MSU to see the drive and follow through behind my goal. After all, it's just not the Jaim without me!