I believe that canoeing together tells a story. Who leads, who follows. Teamwork, is it there or not? The couple that successfully canoe's together will stay together, it is that simple. Not only that, but you see people's true colors when in a canoe, dating colors, friendship colors, care taking colors, power and control colors...
Let me explain. This past weekend Wayne and I took three of our dearest and closest friends canoeing. They have never been to Michigan and wanted to do something that was simply Michigan. Listening to the "Pure Michigan" commercials that Tim Allen lends his voice to, I thought about the "free flowing waters of Michigan." So, we went canoeing.
The adventure began when we were crammed into a van that should have fit 10 people. I had made a reservation for 4pm for the five of us and there were 7 other people who joined in the day of at the park (doing the math yet?). There were 13 of us in a van that fit 10, including the driver who looked like he might JUST have turned 16. So, our buddy Nick was on the end of a seat with me, John and Michelle, dangling off the end with just one half of one cheek on the seat. We were all sun screened and bug sprayed up, so the tight squeeze and closeness was quite stinky. Nick, having survived cancer twice and a tour in Afghanistan, didn't complain, he just used all of his core muscles and his quads to balance. Wayne was in the far back seat with three strangers, none of them of the petite variety. They had taken the entire seat up, so Wayne was sardined in with his hinney on the wheel well. "How are you doing back there, Wayne?" I asked as we bounced around. "good" he grumbled under his breath as we hit a bump slamming him into the wheel well. I must admit I admired Wayne's technique. Wayne had a good technique. He starred out the window the whole time. I guess he thought if he didn't look at the others, he wouldn't have to be reminded that their bodies were stuck together with sweat.
"How much longer to the drop off point?" I asked, thinking of my guests and husband. "About nine minutes." I was told. Well, we could do ANYTHING for nine quick, short minutes right? It was just upon about the time that thought ran through my head that we got behind a farm vehicle going about 10 mph. "that just doubled our trip time, eh?" said Nick with a snicker. Sure, I thought, "hang tight ya'll." Murphy, being the law that it is, didn't fulfill its' duty at that time. Remember, our driver, being about 16? He made the brilliant decision to PASS the farm vehicle. I thought we were going to be the next morning's headline. "13 killed in van (that fit 10) pulling trailer of 8 canoes. The 16 year old driver decided that he would PASS a farm vehicle crossing a solid yellow line." Well, just as this crossed my mind, I heard Nick say, "well, maybe it won't double our travel time." he laughed and looked at my pale face and said, "my gut says we will make it, Jaim." So, I closed my eyes and before I knew it, we were around the vehicle and on the road again. Ok, probably only 8 minutes left now! YE HAW! I was giddy, knowing that our trip down the river was minutes away and then...Murphy visited again... CRASH! BAM! SCRAPPPPPEEEEE! A canoe fell off the trailer and was being dragged on the asphalt. "I think our travel time just got doubled." Laughed Nick, still dangling off the end of our seat-muscles tight. We all kind of laughed, you know in that, I am sure we will make it there- but we all stink and are, uh, too close for comfort kind of laughing way.
Alas, the driver jumped out of the van, loaded the canoe back on, jumped back into the van and took off. I was at this time cautiously optimistic that we would be there relatively soon (note the change in my tone? what you hear is optimism turned to reality). "That is the first one that has fallen all season." the Driver quietly said as he drove on.
I was thinking about this potentially damaged canoe. "I don't want that canoe. You know, the one that fell" I blurted. I couldn't contain myself. I wanted to call dibs. That is right, NON-dibs dibs. I didn't want to "test" the fallen canoe. No one said anything in response, so I felt victorious! I called it- or non-called it and no one challenged. Phew. Ok, so we got there, I quickly claimed two non-dragged canoes and we were the first in the water. Wayne and I were in the heavy, green fiberglass canoe. It was the widest, so Michelle took a cushion and sat in the middle with our cooler and our snacks. John and Nick took the lighter, faster, easier to maneuver aluminum canoe and we were off. Upon paddling about 10 times, I said, "perhaps we should give some of the extra weight to Nick and John." So, we asked the boys to paddle up close so we could hand off the cooler. We did it with no problems and we were off again. It was seamless, like a precise military maneuver, after all the boys were all military or former military. It was a beautiful sunny day and just the perfect temperature-a great way to show off what Michigan had to offer. We heard one of the other couples in our comfy van ride arguing from the start. So, we pulled ahead as not to hear the bickering. It was too nice of a day for Debbie and Don Downer to steal the show...
Soon, two canoes caught up with us. One carrying the not so petite, cigarette smoking, cursing, bickering couple and the other canoe carrying three young college aged canoers. "are you with them?" I asked the trio. "uh, yep." the male in the back of the canoe answered, all three of them were smiling in that -uh huh, we will claim them- way. We were approaching a narrow opening in the river. A tree had fallen on both sides leaving just enough space to maneuver through. Nick and John were close behind the bickering couple. The bickering couple, well they were bickering still as their canoe turned sideways not leaving enough clearance for them to make it through the opening. The male bickerer firmly shouted "duck" and she, the female bickerer, firmly shouted."AHHHHHH SH#!" and did not duck. Instead she grabbed onto the branch that was hanging down which jolted the canoe to a halt catapulting the male bickerer into the water. KA-SPLOOSH! It was quite hilarious and a little scary, I worried for the female bickerer a bit. It appeared that she was pinned under the branch laying on her back holding tight. He was holding the side of the canoe. The couple was still bickering. He was saying, "let go!" She was shouting, "NO WAY!" This continued. Nick and John quickly made it through and Wayne and I back paddled, slowed down and made it through as well. Michelle, adorning the bright orange life jacket, said, "I am not a good swimmer." Wayne was reassuring her, "nothing is going to happen to you. You have a life vest on and I won't let anything happen to you, just duck." Wayne's reassurance helped me as well. We made it! Teamwork. I look behind me to see the couple still engaged in the bickering. "give up, you are going in." said the male bickerer. "If I get out I won't be able to get back in!" Shouted the female bickerer. I thought I would lend what seemed to be some helpful, and common sense advice. "just get out, get to the bank and then get back in. It will be easier to get back in from shore." They didn't answer, but did pause their bickering for a moment to contemplate the thought, and we headed forward.
Here's where the true colors shined through. Nick and John turned Hawaii Five-O on us and retrieved the bickerers paddles and headed back to help them out. "you got this??" Wayne asked. Nick responded, "We are just going to hang here until they are out of panic mode and then get them their paddles back. We have it handled." "you OK Babe?" John asks Michelle. "yep, I'm good." So, there we were. All of us exposed. Nick used all of his military--and boyscout training to assess the situation, realize the couple was not in grave danger and make the safe decision to lend rescue efforts while not getting taken down with the panicking bickerers. John's colors shined through as he checked on his wife since neither of them were good swimmers. John and Nick showed their service to others with their help in retrieving the oars and bringing them back to the bickerers. Wayne showed his care taking to me and Michelle by slowly taking us through the challenge reassuring us that he wouldn't let anything happen to us. He also offered to help the couple, but agreed with John and Nick that it be better for them to do it, since he had Michelle, the non swimming first time canoer in the canoe. I showed that I would offer some solid advice to the bickerers even knowing they could at any moment curse me out-a chance worth taking.
If you are thinking what I was thinking, I am sure you are thinking about the other three that claimed to be with the bickerers. Well, they were snickering slowing down and just watching it all unfold. I am guessing this is not the first time they have seen the couple in a situation that is just, well, priceless. The bickerers? What did I learn about them? Well, once back in the canoe and on the river, they finally agreed. "sh#! we just lost our SMOKES!" said the male bickerer. "OH, NO, honey, you are right! Shi#!!!" Alas, their priorities were in sync.
So, the moral of this story is if you want to get to know someones true colors, canoe with them!
All in all it was a great trip, created some good memories and showed me the true colors of my friends. I am sure my humor was appreciated as well. After all, It just wouldn't have been the Jaim without me. :)
Let me explain. This past weekend Wayne and I took three of our dearest and closest friends canoeing. They have never been to Michigan and wanted to do something that was simply Michigan. Listening to the "Pure Michigan" commercials that Tim Allen lends his voice to, I thought about the "free flowing waters of Michigan." So, we went canoeing.
The adventure began when we were crammed into a van that should have fit 10 people. I had made a reservation for 4pm for the five of us and there were 7 other people who joined in the day of at the park (doing the math yet?). There were 13 of us in a van that fit 10, including the driver who looked like he might JUST have turned 16. So, our buddy Nick was on the end of a seat with me, John and Michelle, dangling off the end with just one half of one cheek on the seat. We were all sun screened and bug sprayed up, so the tight squeeze and closeness was quite stinky. Nick, having survived cancer twice and a tour in Afghanistan, didn't complain, he just used all of his core muscles and his quads to balance. Wayne was in the far back seat with three strangers, none of them of the petite variety. They had taken the entire seat up, so Wayne was sardined in with his hinney on the wheel well. "How are you doing back there, Wayne?" I asked as we bounced around. "good" he grumbled under his breath as we hit a bump slamming him into the wheel well. I must admit I admired Wayne's technique. Wayne had a good technique. He starred out the window the whole time. I guess he thought if he didn't look at the others, he wouldn't have to be reminded that their bodies were stuck together with sweat.
"How much longer to the drop off point?" I asked, thinking of my guests and husband. "About nine minutes." I was told. Well, we could do ANYTHING for nine quick, short minutes right? It was just upon about the time that thought ran through my head that we got behind a farm vehicle going about 10 mph. "that just doubled our trip time, eh?" said Nick with a snicker. Sure, I thought, "hang tight ya'll." Murphy, being the law that it is, didn't fulfill its' duty at that time. Remember, our driver, being about 16? He made the brilliant decision to PASS the farm vehicle. I thought we were going to be the next morning's headline. "13 killed in van (that fit 10) pulling trailer of 8 canoes. The 16 year old driver decided that he would PASS a farm vehicle crossing a solid yellow line." Well, just as this crossed my mind, I heard Nick say, "well, maybe it won't double our travel time." he laughed and looked at my pale face and said, "my gut says we will make it, Jaim." So, I closed my eyes and before I knew it, we were around the vehicle and on the road again. Ok, probably only 8 minutes left now! YE HAW! I was giddy, knowing that our trip down the river was minutes away and then...Murphy visited again... CRASH! BAM! SCRAPPPPPEEEEE! A canoe fell off the trailer and was being dragged on the asphalt. "I think our travel time just got doubled." Laughed Nick, still dangling off the end of our seat-muscles tight. We all kind of laughed, you know in that, I am sure we will make it there- but we all stink and are, uh, too close for comfort kind of laughing way.
Alas, the driver jumped out of the van, loaded the canoe back on, jumped back into the van and took off. I was at this time cautiously optimistic that we would be there relatively soon (note the change in my tone? what you hear is optimism turned to reality). "That is the first one that has fallen all season." the Driver quietly said as he drove on.
I was thinking about this potentially damaged canoe. "I don't want that canoe. You know, the one that fell" I blurted. I couldn't contain myself. I wanted to call dibs. That is right, NON-dibs dibs. I didn't want to "test" the fallen canoe. No one said anything in response, so I felt victorious! I called it- or non-called it and no one challenged. Phew. Ok, so we got there, I quickly claimed two non-dragged canoes and we were the first in the water. Wayne and I were in the heavy, green fiberglass canoe. It was the widest, so Michelle took a cushion and sat in the middle with our cooler and our snacks. John and Nick took the lighter, faster, easier to maneuver aluminum canoe and we were off. Upon paddling about 10 times, I said, "perhaps we should give some of the extra weight to Nick and John." So, we asked the boys to paddle up close so we could hand off the cooler. We did it with no problems and we were off again. It was seamless, like a precise military maneuver, after all the boys were all military or former military. It was a beautiful sunny day and just the perfect temperature-a great way to show off what Michigan had to offer. We heard one of the other couples in our comfy van ride arguing from the start. So, we pulled ahead as not to hear the bickering. It was too nice of a day for Debbie and Don Downer to steal the show...
Soon, two canoes caught up with us. One carrying the not so petite, cigarette smoking, cursing, bickering couple and the other canoe carrying three young college aged canoers. "are you with them?" I asked the trio. "uh, yep." the male in the back of the canoe answered, all three of them were smiling in that -uh huh, we will claim them- way. We were approaching a narrow opening in the river. A tree had fallen on both sides leaving just enough space to maneuver through. Nick and John were close behind the bickering couple. The bickering couple, well they were bickering still as their canoe turned sideways not leaving enough clearance for them to make it through the opening. The male bickerer firmly shouted "duck" and she, the female bickerer, firmly shouted."AHHHHHH SH#!" and did not duck. Instead she grabbed onto the branch that was hanging down which jolted the canoe to a halt catapulting the male bickerer into the water. KA-SPLOOSH! It was quite hilarious and a little scary, I worried for the female bickerer a bit. It appeared that she was pinned under the branch laying on her back holding tight. He was holding the side of the canoe. The couple was still bickering. He was saying, "let go!" She was shouting, "NO WAY!" This continued. Nick and John quickly made it through and Wayne and I back paddled, slowed down and made it through as well. Michelle, adorning the bright orange life jacket, said, "I am not a good swimmer." Wayne was reassuring her, "nothing is going to happen to you. You have a life vest on and I won't let anything happen to you, just duck." Wayne's reassurance helped me as well. We made it! Teamwork. I look behind me to see the couple still engaged in the bickering. "give up, you are going in." said the male bickerer. "If I get out I won't be able to get back in!" Shouted the female bickerer. I thought I would lend what seemed to be some helpful, and common sense advice. "just get out, get to the bank and then get back in. It will be easier to get back in from shore." They didn't answer, but did pause their bickering for a moment to contemplate the thought, and we headed forward.
Here's where the true colors shined through. Nick and John turned Hawaii Five-O on us and retrieved the bickerers paddles and headed back to help them out. "you got this??" Wayne asked. Nick responded, "We are just going to hang here until they are out of panic mode and then get them their paddles back. We have it handled." "you OK Babe?" John asks Michelle. "yep, I'm good." So, there we were. All of us exposed. Nick used all of his military--and boyscout training to assess the situation, realize the couple was not in grave danger and make the safe decision to lend rescue efforts while not getting taken down with the panicking bickerers. John's colors shined through as he checked on his wife since neither of them were good swimmers. John and Nick showed their service to others with their help in retrieving the oars and bringing them back to the bickerers. Wayne showed his care taking to me and Michelle by slowly taking us through the challenge reassuring us that he wouldn't let anything happen to us. He also offered to help the couple, but agreed with John and Nick that it be better for them to do it, since he had Michelle, the non swimming first time canoer in the canoe. I showed that I would offer some solid advice to the bickerers even knowing they could at any moment curse me out-a chance worth taking.
If you are thinking what I was thinking, I am sure you are thinking about the other three that claimed to be with the bickerers. Well, they were snickering slowing down and just watching it all unfold. I am guessing this is not the first time they have seen the couple in a situation that is just, well, priceless. The bickerers? What did I learn about them? Well, once back in the canoe and on the river, they finally agreed. "sh#! we just lost our SMOKES!" said the male bickerer. "OH, NO, honey, you are right! Shi#!!!" Alas, their priorities were in sync.
So, the moral of this story is if you want to get to know someones true colors, canoe with them!
All in all it was a great trip, created some good memories and showed me the true colors of my friends. I am sure my humor was appreciated as well. After all, It just wouldn't have been the Jaim without me. :)
2 comments:
When I first saw how long your post was, I thought, "Seriously??" But I quickly read it and was entertained the entire time :) I'm glad you safely made it through and shared the adventure. I miss you!
Uh yeah, post turned to mini-novela! It was just flowin, I couldn't stop it! LOL
Post a Comment